I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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