yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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