I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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