She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
