Need sex. Gaining weight.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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