When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
