One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
