my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize