If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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