why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
