I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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