I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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