You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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