Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
