Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
