And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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