im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
