Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
