he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
this will be a night to untag.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
