What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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