I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
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You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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