Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
