just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize