btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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