THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
