At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
