I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
