wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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