What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
