i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
