I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
