she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
