I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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