we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
