At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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