wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
