You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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