the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
