Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
