Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
