if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think I sprained my soul last night
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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