You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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