Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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