I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
