we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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