oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize