Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
