I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
