Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
