Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
