I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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