420 ftw
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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