Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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