I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
