better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
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Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
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We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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